@emma
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I would love to find another PlayParty and go to a professional BDSM party where everything is considered.
I also want to connect with more couples and people who host their own parties so I can develop a community around me. Honestly I do feel a bit snobby about the scene in Edinburgh though. So I feel the excitement of hosting my own orgies one day and creating a beautiful setting where the people who I invite are fun, beautiful and playful inside and out.
Yes, I had judged friends in the past for doing sex work and stripping. I know it was my own jealously mixed up with the stigma of shaming women who are sexually expressive and owning their sexual choices.
At school I was bullied and the girls would often shout lesbian!!! I imagine now, being called a lesbian in school is probably unheard of in more mainstream schools. I definitely feel more liberated and open to express my desires and feelings of how I want to express myself. Which is to be right now, this warm, sensual Goddess who is a warrior of love and pleasure.!!
I release the idea the idea the consensual sex workers are insecure, less than and uneducated. I do however feel sex workers do need to be protected and supported in their work, emotionally, physically and politically. I do hope that over time sex work in all its forms are celebrated, respected and revered. Like it used to be in India, thousands of years ago, Indian sex workers where revered because they knew the sacred art of sex. I feel we are moving towards this again and it will be recognised as fundamental, (key) work!
I loved what Betty said that “we are sex workers who educate women on how to orgasm” I love that because it is sex work. And it’s ethical and empowering simultaneously. This totally shifts the slut stigma and shame around sex work because it is essentially saying as Betty said ” We are feminist sex advocates” Its so spot on and I believe that Bodysex will help more and more women to rise in their sexual power because of this work. And as sex workers we can unite, educate and release the stigma and shame that society has cringed onto.
It is common for people to think people who are into BDSM/Kink are perverse and dysfunctional. That there is no consent and a Dom can do what they want to a Sub, when in fact all play is spoken about beforehand and all those involved are consenting adults and that at any time you can choose to change your mind and use your safe word. In most cases the BDSM community use the word RED.
This community is a group of people so of course you might not like everyone and yes sadly people can have crap experiences. However it remains to be solely up to you to educate yourself and connect with humans you trust to support and guide you. Because these communities are built on the consent and respect of the individual so they can play safely and leave coming back for more.
Yes I’m aware of the world of BDSM and the kink community. I had my first Playparty in Goa in 2018. It was revolutionary. I was so shy and with a lover how brought me into the world so respectfully and smoothly. It was a bunch of dancers and guests from a dance festival we were all attending so lots of stunning people. The guy I was with helped me to experience a fantasy which I thought was really cheesy but a group of men loved the idea of I.
It involved these men smudging the most delicious chocolate all over my body, and licking it off, nibbling me, kissing me, devouring me.
One guy said that the hottest thing they experienced was watching me naked wash my white nighty in the shower. I felt embarrassed but also loved the voyeurism.
So I got to experience it and loved every min. I also started doing Shibari with my lover, at the mo its quite technical play because we are learning the knots. But we are definitely invested in getting skilled at this. Like Carlin said, when she was suspended she felt an outer body release. I want to be suspended for this reason. I’m always in control and guiding myself and those around me so the feeling of leaning into a sub space excites me.
I also know I’m a switch.
What I leaned from my BDSM friend was that the Dom is actually in service to the Sub and that the Sub is really the one in control. This is a common misconception that the Dom is just doing what they want and the sub just has to take it. ( Obviously that can also be a game that is played out, but has to be consensual )
Yes, I use breath work to ignite the snake … kundalini yoga. I also work with the chakra’s in my own healing and energy work whether on myself or with clients. This supports my connection to the entire energy fields that surround us and how to align and draw in sacred light. I have always been active in these processes.
In fact it started when I was 17, I would come by just breathing and listening to body and energy field. I thought I was weird at the time because I didn’t know what taNTRA was, and then later I learned that I was intuiting this from a divine source within me.
When she talked about people be afraid to breath, as a trained dancer and actress, the breath is a crucial in our ability to move, and protect. I have always been comfortable with it and find it very powerful. I was reminded when Barbara spoke about people being afraid of it because it foes bring you into presence, it does bring up emotions and ignite feeling in your body.
I was moved by her and Annie Sprinkler’s desire to bring Tantra to her male brothers in the AIDs crisis. To support their access to ecstasy without putting their sexual health at risk.
I love the idea of starting an orgasmic sisterhood, where women come together and talk about their sexual experiences in a shame free space, where women can talk freely, ask questions and express their desires and be celebrated by their sisterhood.
If women don’t question it, it remains the slut stigma remains to condemn a woman of embracing, exploring and celebrating her sexual expression.
If a women has lots of sex, she may not necessarily share this with other women for fear they will shame her, men are the same, they don’t want to know a woman has sexual experience.
The only way to avoid the stigma is only get with one guy and marry him. This message is across the board even in western cultures.
My first experience of having an orgasm in a group was at erotic recess last year! Wow, it was really strange at first because we talked for a while and I wasn’t sure when the masturbation was going to happen and then Carlin and Laura seamlessly moved towards self pleasure and it as so erotic, to hear all theses women I didn’t know get off. It felt natural and quite sacred. I found hearing other women come got me really excited and tuning into some women who I felt I was on the same ride with and the coming also simultaneously with them. It was magic!! And I’d do again and again and Again!
I have a pretty open mind, but I’ve been closed off to polyamory or playing with others while in a union. Now I feel my learnings through all the educational material, her-story/historical evidence and talks points the ancient wisdom that love is abundant and that I have the ability to have mutilple partners and that that is a natural thing more natural then learned monogamy which is a conditioning.
I fell the resources have prepared me to explore how open I really can be.
I really loved it when she talked about the power of self soothing and how when you take 15 mins break from a heated or triggering argument or experience and self sooth, you can literally grow new fibres that connect to the amygdala in the brain which supports the bodies ability to heal, calm down and basically have quicker access to the PNS response.
One big social myth continually played out by our culture, politics, religion and education systems, is that we evolved to be monogamous and that it comes naturally to us. When in fact there is substantial evidence to prove that for 95% of our existence we were sexually explorative with each other. Firstly we had sex not to have babies but to build intimacy and secondly to procreate.
That women were revered as High Priestess Goddess of Sex, we were Warriors and Protectors and men worshiped us. All this has been stamped out in the Patriarchal system during the recreation of the New Testament. Due to the fear of women’s power. Which I knew but it’s great to have more resources to support this evidence.
I have the same appreciation for Schlain’s graph showing the pattern in the rise of literacy was also the time of the destruction of Mother Earth powers: the divine feminine, be that in image, sculpture or word. And the rise of the female power is being reclaimed by the rise in technology ie computers and the internet because we are retuning to the image again.
But also how literary draws us away from the listening and talking space which is where emotion, intimacy and story can be passed on where we see with the and hear with the whole self. Which is feminine.