@esther
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Me too! It was such a mind opener to know masturbation is sex. And I have been sexual my entire life.
When I was having period, I used a heating pad on my pelvic region and I also took hot baths.
Also I took a NSAID(Advil, Motrin).Ah yes menopause. I shouldn’t say this however, I didn’t find the transition that difficult. I had an endometrial ablation at 38 which stopped my menses. It was until I was 55 that I noticed I was sleeping hot and I started sleeping on bamboo sheets and tucking ice packs under my pillow (which I still do) so when I am hot, I just pull out an ice pack put it on my neck or chest and cool down. I used to be setting in the couch and feel a roll of anxiety then I would start sweating. Once I finally recognized the anxiety was a precursor to a hot flash I started deep breathing and welcoming(befriending) the hot flash (this is normal it is just a hot flash it will pass) more than challenging at times. I also know if I eat too many carbs I will have hot flashes.
I have prescribed hormone replacement for my female clients, however, I have only used inter vaginal estrogen for the past 15 years. It definitely helps decrease urinary tract symptoms and vaginal dryness. What I have found very helpful for vaginal dryness is regular masturbation with penetration and tons of lubrication. I apply coconut oil intervaginally at bed time.
Staying active, like long hikes help me decrease the anxiety and irritability resulting from the loss of estrogenI have found like everything else treating my post menopausal systems has been multi pronged
Omg, I have been in a brawl since I was born. I always loved sports and had to fight to have an opportunity to play. It was not just the guys(who didn’t care much unless I was better then them then that led to hockey stick fights and fist to cuffs) but also other girls. At least finally it is common to see girls and women in sport.
Religion was another area I stood up for myself. I had a guy tell me god only chooses a woman if he cannot find a man. I told him “I am not god’s second choice” how #$$& insane is that when 51% of the population is female. Needless to say, I just couldn’t tolerate this fundamentalist suppressive belief system that women are 2nd class citizens at best and walked away.
Funny, Laura I have been contemplating lately, how can women and others be equals and respected in society when the laws are archaic and stacked against them. It isn’t possible unless I stand up. Good for you! It is so easy for the dominate culture to say “it is implied” o we want the language of the law to be explicit and inclusive.
I have been practicing cultivating my sexual fantasy world. I love to imagine guys with big dicks penetrating women from behind and me being on of those women. Being pinned up against a wall and being penetrated from behind. I also imagine me penetrating men with a strap on dildo. Starting to notice I maybe a switch.
Run the Fuck
It really decreased my rage around feeling I always have to run the fuck. That it wasn’t normal that the woman would run the fuck. It normalized what I had been doing during sex all these years making sure I got what I needed.
masturbation is the foundation of human sexuality
how freeing to know this. I am now a semi closeted masturbator. My shame around masturbation has decreased
I am Esther, living in Canada. I am 60 years old. Love the outdoors. The ice is off the lake so I take my cold plung in the lake every mornings. I worked as a Nurse Practitioner for 30 years and I never once asked a client how is your orgasm. I asked them about painful intercourse and hot flashes. So when I found Bodysex, I knew it was for me. My personal exploration of what it means to be sexual and information that I could use with my clients
What I was actually in awe of while watching Bodysex documentary was the circle of nude vulva holders. It liberated me from a lot of body shame because everyone was different shapes and sizes. Also it normalized talking about masturbation and sharing that practice in a group.
Resistance: I cringed when Betty had the women touch then taste themselves. I have done this several times on my own and in a body sex group. Still feels weird however I do touch my genitals daily and try to remember to smell myself daily. It’s a process which I will continue to practice.
I found Bodysex through an internet search. I was looking for a safe and comprehensive way to explore sex and not just read about it. I loved the site and read everything I could. I reached out to Laura. I loved the idea of it being a group of women sharing their story and orgasms together. So I attended a Bodysex workshop spring 2024. I was right an amazing experience.
A meaningful moment during body sex: was during erotic recess. I had had one orgasm already. And was in the mind set of it takes so long to have the second orgasm, however, I remembered Carlin and Laura say keep going, change up what you r doing. So I reclined more than laying flat, and got out my mirror and watched myself do a vulva massage and move my barbel in and out. Reminded myself, pleasure is the goal and sensations were very pleasant. At around 50 minutes I had a 2nd orgasm. Also I have to remind myself, I don’t lose my arousal so it is ok to get up and go pee.
Birth control history:
I remember birth control being such a big issue. I had migraines with auras which is contra indicated for oral contraceptives. Wish I had chosen a diaphragm. Then I could have experienced penetration without a condom in my monogamous relationship. We used condoms and spermicide foam for years.then at 38 I had an endometrial ablation (consider yourself sterile) and my partner had a vasectomy along with the fear of pregnancy.
I found Betty’s documentary on women’s orgasm very helpful in giving me new ideas for masturbating. I have tried the a small vibrator that is the size of a lipstick(sorry cannot remember the name). After I do a vulva massage I sometimes start with this small vibrator, until I am desiring even more arousal then I pull out my magic wand and penetrate with Betty’s barbel(this is new since Bodysex retreat) or another dildo. I also change the room that I masturbate in or soak in the tube(so I have vibrators that are water proof.
