@j-chaplin
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I use a womaniser and a plug in one speed wand that was given to me by a friend.I use it the plug in twice a day – waking up in the morning and as I go to sleep at night.
With a certain level of arousal, I generally put my electric vibe directly on my clit and apply and reapply with pressure and movement up and down from the hood of my clot and to my vaginal opening. I enjoy continuing until I get a back arching whole body orgasm. And then if time allows, I’ll keep going.
I am looking forward to trying the barbell and magic wand. I’m also interested in trying a lipstick vibrator.
I first used a vibrator when I was 40 and bought one in Spain while travelling. I have no idea what I was doing or how it was supposed to feel. I was wholly unsatisfying and did not use it again. It would be 15 years later when a friend bought me one after my sexless marriage was about to end. I have been using it since then and at first it felt like it kept on going – even after I had turn it off.
My favourite sex toy is my plug-in vibrator.
I am able to put it directly on my clitoral hood and enjoy the intensity from the get-go…
It is easily the thing that makes me climax fastest. Direct application to the hood of my clit and then passing up and down over the hood and up underneath it gives me the greatest pleasure. Given it’s a plug in I can start with some quick orgasms and then go slower and lean into more intense orgasms with just continuing with the clitoral stimulation or adding vaginal or anal penetration. I also have started using my vibrator on my clit during partner sex if I am not getting there through other means or to take me over the edge for a full body orgasm.
This module has significantly shifted my perception about the use of the word penetration. So too about the role that penetration has historically held by western societies (as I can’t speak for eastern cultures) … ie men penetrate women as part of a dominance and ownership… it seems very connected to marital and non-marital rape.
Since coming of age I have never been in a situation sexually where I have felt ‘at risk’… uncomfortable yes – but never at risk of physical attack. I think myself so fortunate that I have not found myself in circumstances beyond my control.
I can see the power which culturally imbued penetration as a thing done by males to females … it is usually about controlling women through penetration…
It makes sense to me that women would enjoy pegging men as a means of regaining and asserting power over men.
I also think myself fortunate that painful penetration has played such an small part of my sexual experiences.
I love anal sex – when high arousal is in play… but I can also just be going about my day and find myself thinking I would like to have something in my butt… I’m more than comfortable doing solo anal play and asking it of my partners who enjoy it. I have one partner recently ask my to penetrate his but. With lots of pre play and him in a relaxed position I massaged and then penetrated his butt – far more than he ever thought he’d enjoy… it was all about consent and letting him be the one who wanted more or less.
I think, as with all other sex, the notion of a woman or person being penetrated, they should be the ones “running the fuck”… the taking of control, the ability to have the needed conversations with the penetrating partner, ensuring you have safe words for any kind of pain, that there is lots of lube and cleaning options – I always have baby wipes and tissues on hand an always use a splash blanket for sex so my linen is only for sleeping on.
I also enjoy pegging masculine men who are open to the pleasure they can receive from anal stimulation and pegging or anal fisting. As long as they are consenting and can also run the fuck for themselves. I think I have explored most things with anal pleasure… I know – from an unexpected experience – that I am definitively not into have poop in my mouth or the mouth of anyone I am having sexual relations with. The idea of kissing someone who loves to eat – literally – poop is a HUGE turn off for me.
I am a total lover of anal sex for myself and doing anal play and pegging with male partners. Since my sexless marriage ended I have loved exploring lots of new things and anal – when I’ve in the mood is something I love.
Although I had pain and smell stories, I am much more comfortable now and know that any messes just get cleaned up straight away.
There were historically things I had to get over (pain and mess) but I am all good with managing those issues now.
I think the best lesson from this is that any pain is a message to stop… to consider what is potentially causing the pain and what can be done to address the pain to be able to move forward with pleasure. Pain is NOT something to be endured or experienced during consensual sex… stopping as needed and running the fuck is so important.
It’s meaningful because I know I have put up with pain… just cos it seemed easier than having the conversation about it… putting myself first to avoid pain is an absolutely reasonable response to pain during sex.
By this point in the program Betty’s Barbel has shown up a bit – so the learning about the barbell design and materials and ways that it can be used will prove interesting when I get one. I am looking forward to playing with its weight as discussed in these last few topics.
The carpel tunnel story will be helpful on my return to Australia later this year…Right guy, right time, right build up, my preference is to use my mouth, then have vaginal sex, then if I am appropriately prepared, anal – in that order to build intensity. Giving head makes me really wet – both vaginally and orally… I get a bit of a dry mouth sometimes… so starting there after cunnilingus is great. A man’s hard cock is always preferable to a dildo as long as he has great control…
I don’t feel there is anything physical but the emotional and linguistic interpretations of penetration has shifted from this lesson. I now think of “penetration” as being an aggressive concept. Connecting, merging, entering and I’m sure there are more words… are all going to be used instead of the penetrative variations…
On having a read of others’ input in the forum, I’m finding myself very fortunate with respect to my sexual penetrative experiences. The one experience (as a 15 yo) which was not great, I have long released… I’ve never been sexually assaulted and although some penetration has been ho hum – there has been nothing traumatic… so it’s delightfully significant and pleasurable welcoming a desirable partner into my body. I derive an enormous satisfaction being open to all elements of sharing penetrative experiences when I am with someone who knows what’s what and is interested in knowing.
With an immersion in and the support of women interested in bringing the power of pleasure, orgasm and the physical and anatomical structures women possess to bear on pleasure.
Creating an environment where women are comfortable being in their own skin.
For me, without yet having had the experience, it seems the welcoming and comfortable setting allowing others to move at their pace is a huge part of the support.. By modelling the responses and going first the leader sets the tone for openness, self-acceptance and vulnerability.
The shared experience of genital show and tell and being in wonder of the difference and beauty of all women – right to the core of our pleasure. The education of all the different moves and moods and tools that can enhance pleasure is all there.
When each of the activities are moved through, each provides further information and exploration of self pleasure and self love and being able to see what interrupts or trips any one of us at any time and being there to hold the space in a way that any woman needs.
Guilt associated with pleasure, the story some women have that they are undeserving can have definitely make it harder to reach orgasm. I think there are women – especially those with younger children that need caring in the home – who believe all their time should be devoted to their children.
They can be invited to think about the connection with pleasure, satisfaction, meeting their own needs and happiness and contentment… and which will serve their children best – a woman who knows how to generate her own pleasure and happiness or one who feels guilt, feels undeserving of pleasure who has this resentment building in her… Obviously work needs to be done over time… but with awareness comes choice! Choosing to be happy for yourself because you deserve it and spreading that happiness across your world with love and joy.
Given the time the article was written, it’s no surprise it was received the way it was. This quote from the article made me realise that we have come a long way – but not nearly far enough… just today saw 4 American men say that an orgasm wasn’t real and that it’s just something women fake… yep deny women’s orgasms are real then you never have to be responsible trying to make one happen!
“Those women who complained about it were recommended psychiatrists, so that they might discover their “problem” – diagnosed generally as a failure to adjust to their role as women.”
HOLY SHIT! Failure to adjust to their ROLE as WOMEN… fuck… the conditioning that comes with the acceptance of the “ROLE OF A WOMAN” has surely done a number on generations of women… past, present and emerging.
All women should know that their clitoris – all of it – is the only organ in human bodies that are specifical designed for female pleasure organs.
That the earlier the better to discover your clitoris and the notion of self pleasure that’s available because of it.
That it is your right to know and understand orgasms and they can be achieved through many paths in various situations.
That in generating orgasms you can’t break your clitoris or vagina having lots of orgasms.
Orgasms come in lots of different entities and bodies seeking pleasure.Women should know what gets them to orgasm fastest so everybody is helping everyone else out.
That if you want to you can keep having orgasms until the day you die.
