@j-chaplin
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With an immersion in and the support of women interested in bringing the power of pleasure, orgasm and the physical and anatomical structures women possess to bear on pleasure.
Creating an environment where women are comfortable being in their own skin.
For me, without yet having had the experience, it seems the welcoming and comfortable setting allowing others to move at their pace is a huge part of the support.. By modelling the responses and going first the leader sets the tone for openness, self-acceptance and vulnerability.
The shared experience of genital show and tell and being in wonder of the difference and beauty of all women – right to the core of our pleasure. The education of all the different moves and moods and tools that can enhance pleasure is all there.
When each of the activities are moved through, each provides further information and exploration of self pleasure and self love and being able to see what interrupts or trips any one of us at any time and being there to hold the space in a way that any woman needs.
Guilt associated with pleasure, the story some women have that they are undeserving can have definitely make it harder to reach orgasm. I think there are women – especially those with younger children that need caring in the home – who believe all their time should be devoted to their children.
They can be invited to think about the connection with pleasure, satisfaction, meeting their own needs and happiness and contentment… and which will serve their children best – a woman who knows how to generate her own pleasure and happiness or one who feels guilt, feels undeserving of pleasure who has this resentment building in her… Obviously work needs to be done over time… but with awareness comes choice! Choosing to be happy for yourself because you deserve it and spreading that happiness across your world with love and joy.
Given the time the article was written, it’s no surprise it was received the way it was. This quote from the article made me realise that we have come a long way – but not nearly far enough… just today saw 4 American men say that an orgasm wasn’t real and that it’s just something women fake… yep deny women’s orgasms are real then you never have to be responsible trying to make one happen!
“Those women who complained about it were recommended psychiatrists, so that they might discover their “problem” – diagnosed generally as a failure to adjust to their role as women.”
HOLY SHIT! Failure to adjust to their ROLE as WOMEN… fuck… the conditioning that comes with the acceptance of the “ROLE OF A WOMAN” has surely done a number on generations of women… past, present and emerging.
All women should know that their clitoris – all of it – is the only organ in human bodies that are specifical designed for female pleasure organs.
That the earlier the better to discover your clitoris and the notion of self pleasure that’s available because of it.
That it is your right to know and understand orgasms and they can be achieved through many paths in various situations.
That in generating orgasms you can’t break your clitoris or vagina having lots of orgasms.
Orgasms come in lots of different entities and bodies seeking pleasure.Women should know what gets them to orgasm fastest so everybody is helping everyone else out.
That if you want to you can keep having orgasms until the day you die.
THIS ONE STOOD OUT
Anonymous Age 40: Having a private session with Betty was a life-changing experience. She discovered she had an art deco vulva and experienced her first orgasm. Her orgasm feels like a complete release. She would tell her younger self – you’re not broken. Walk away if you don’t feel good. Find Betty. Spread the word to other women.
This really hit me… I felt compassionate about how negatively she experienced her relationships because she didn’t believe she could orgasm. It was affecting every relationship. She felt she could have needed psychological help or was just pre-orgasmic.
Her limited experience and willingness to step into a 1:1 in Betty’s space… was amazing. Felt Betty got everything to be relaxed and comfortable. The details she walked though her first orgasm at 34…. She could finally start to relate to this experience.<
There was so much gratitude at the end of her session with Betty.
The acknowledgement of just paying attention to her own pleasure.
And I hoped she actually feels she has learnt or had all the experiences and learning and knowledge she want to have that she was telling her 13 year old… I hope she is feeling good about herself.…
Heartbreaking thoughts about her limited pleasure …”I feel like I can hear my heartbeat, like I’m inside my body.” Betty changed her life.
One myth or misconception some women hold is that an orgasm is better when someone else “gives it to you” and along with that is the potential for abrogating responsibility for your own orgasm. (Cos that might make you a slutty dirty girl)
The moment a woman is hit by the totally arbitrary and binary thing of female repression… “if she wants it she’s a slut” and if she doesn’t “she’s frigid”. It can prevent any enjoyment, flood her with guilt from that dichotomy of thinking and prevent the wholly natural and exquisite feeling of orgasm (s)… although more than one would definitely make woman greedy, slutty and self-serving – and nice girls and women are not supposed to be like that!
Holy shit** conditioning has done a number on women – fuck the patriarchy and those who uphold it – men and women (who don’t know any better) alike!
*It’s occurred to me recently that a lot of expressions of joy and disgust are peppered with religious language… in many – but definitely in me! Gotta come up with some new expressions. Glorious crapness… nope gotta do better. Interstellar poppycock! … better! Interstellar deliciousness – I like that too!
Emma Snellgrove’s comment:
“In many ways, exploring your sexuality is still considered slutty, rather empowered.” hit home… I am simply so pleased that being a slut was once a bad thing in my mind – but if a slut is some who loves sex… I AM A SLUT!
Aside from as exquisite delight, a female orgasm is the build up of internal energy, the engorgement of female pleasure genitals and organs created by a combination of thought, imagination and recall combined with pleasurable connection with self or others and direct stimulation of my sex pleasure genitals/organs until there is a release – or many building releases of internal energy followed by the release then dissipation of the blood and breath that has created the orgasm.
Yes – I felt the need to specify female orgasm… I assume it’s similar – but perhaps less conditional on mental stimulation than for women… potential a gross and stereotypical simplification.
Knowing where all the parts of the clitoral system are and what they do so that they can be stimulated in different and pleasurable ways. When the parts are understood it is easier to build to full body orgasms, which is the sole purpose of the clitoral system.
My dream is that all people are fully aware and informed of female pleasure anatomy from the youngest age, at whatever capacity individual development allows. That dream is possible through open conversations and availability of factual information, presented in fun ways – starting with education and moving backwards from the oldest age – allowing those that have been deprived of that information for the longest time – to gain knowledge that can be used – cos it’s never too late and the female pleasure anatomy doesn’t age – as long as it is well used! Use it or lose it.
Once women become fully aware of the totality and purpose of their pleasure anatomy they then have a multitude of choices they can make about their own pleasure – solo, partner, group… And with those choices may come, greater confidence, a sense of independence , a capability and capacity for greater self satisfaction and pleasure, a sense of pride in their knowledge and growing number of choices… it’s kinda like a superpower that has a multiplicity of functions and outcomes.
At its core, Bodysex the work I do with women recognises that, “The clitoris is a woman’s primary sensory sex organ”, in the same way the head of the penis is for men. My experience on reflecting on this recently, is how long this has been this fact has been overlooked, denied, hidden and even punished… Women been deliberately kept in the dark, legislated against, body shamed, slut shamed, guilted and told we are “bad girls” if we love and enjoy sex, talk about sex, let alone derive sexual pleasure… from so many quarters, it is an epic failure on familial, educational, religious, political, community and cultural settings to deprive women of clear information and comprehensive education about their own bodies… even as women hit peri and actual “Fuckening” (ie menopause as it is more commonly called… it is not a pause at all!) many women give up even trying to enjoy sexual pleasure because the next message forced on women is that we should no longer be interested in sex “at that age”. I hear women say I’m too old for that, or sex has never been enjoyable – why does it even matter now.
And as Betty Dodson, the creator of Bodysex terminology and the associated work often proclaimed… women are never ever too old to, or learn to, pleasure themselves.
I know that this is not exactly how I’d say it but it’s pretty close…
Reading some of the above responses had me think about the origin of, or reason for, the possible conversation… is someone asking me about the Bodysex work? Is someone arguing that the clitoral organ is not the centre of women’s pleasure? (If not what is it? Where did you learn that? What if you were not appropriately informed or education?) Is someone saying they don’t believe it? Or question the relevance or importance of this core belief.
A lack of education about the clitoris, keeps women ignorant of the pleasure so readily available. It keeps them from being truly connected to their body. It prevents a fulfilling solo or partnered sex life and connection.
It prevents adequate health care in general practice as medical training barely touches on the female anatomy, let alone female specific conditions.
Again, I don’t know if it was in a video or in the book… but “RUN THE FCUK!” as an instruction for women having partner sex with men. I love this! I say it to women of all ages… learn what turns you on and then let your partner know what you do or don’t like as it happens, before or after…
I’m conscious it can sound like the notion of “Run the fcuk away!” So I add… be in charge of getting what you want.
Even feeling as empowered as I do, I know I am still getting myself in situations that I’m not really into, that I rush into… perhaps driven by a fear of missing out… I have a much easier time of getting my priorities right when it’s just me to consider… and yet get side tracked by wanting sex cos of the validation it provides.
And I’m much more likely to agree to something when it’s been difficult to arrange. More so if there’s someone I like who wants a particular experience – or when I want a particular experience… so I still have a ways to go to truly run The Fuck from the start to wherever and whenever the end comes.
Oh jeez – I can’t remember them specifically and given how much course work I’ve been through and the repetitions in the different modules as appropriate I’m filled with ideas that may have come from elsewhere than her autobiography.
Turns out I do have some specific memories that just flooded out in a rush!
There was the getting ready to pack up her exhibition and leave if all her artworks weren’t exhibited.
There was her fucking the young guy in her mother’s backyard while she was stoned.
There was going to the gay gym.
There was the natural unplanned for first genital show and tell in one of the early workshops.
There was meeting Carlin and how that all evolved.
Given I read the audio book it’s much harder to go back and do a quick overview of the chapters…
Cheating a little bit by reading through the answers above…As Forest Iverson noted – given I’ve listened on Audible and there are no chapter references – “I really feel like this book as well as Sex for One are both going to be listened to over an again’ to remind me of Betty’s spirit in and spirit for life and her masturbation crusade…
Forest also hit on a valuable piece… “I’m too add grateful for the repetition between stories and hearing them both in this book as well as the training videos in this course as well as in Sex for One. ”
Chapter 5: Beyond Serial Monogamy hit home because of my shift from monogamy to non-monogamy. I think it is wholly unrealistic to think that one person can be my everything. A trusted companion, a mental health support, my confidante, my champion, my butt kicker when necessary. Then add my sexual partner. I just seems like I will never go back there again… I loved her perspective…
