@j-chaplin
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Chapter 2 Approval – Francesca and a Raja– her mother (not her real mother – an authority figure) having trained me in being ready to be sold to a potentate as a sexual object as the age of 13. She has been trained by her mother to be sold for the pleasure of one man.
Weirdly this is the complete antithesis of what I would’ve thought I would like. Although I enjoy a man who is willing to take control in sexual relations – the idea of serving just for a man’s pleasure – a man who has likely through birthright taken a position of power – is not one appeals. But the idea of a man able to have any woman that he wants but choosing and willing to pay for me to please him is a different kind of dynamic in my fantasy mind.
Chapter Two: Exploration: Karen. Her husband Ben and her friend Helen. At home – Helen and Ben connecting and Karen joins them. They have great sex in taking pleasure in each other and Karen – especially taking pleasure seeing two people she loves enjoying each other sexually and physically. There are people in my world who I meet and every now and again, when I tell them how I feel I get to play in delightful ways with them – so this resonates.
I read this too long ago and would’ve noted items had I have known I was going to be asked for specifics. Also doing this with an audio book is much harder than with a book I was reading – … I think the overall book reinforces that importance of pleasure and of bringing fantasies into the realms of experiences and keeping them as a means to enhance sexual experiences.
I think that having a book filled with such a broad range of themed fantasies available to women is a key part of supporting women to move beyond the conditioned restraints we have accepted for so long – or that have driven women to experience deep guilt over things that are perfectly natural.I think reinforced rather than learnt is the thing that this module gave to me. That there is no wrong or right way to fantasise. That everyone is different. And that the more open we can become to a range of fantasies the more pleasure we can experience.
Film and ASMR audio are definitely the formats I enjoy in terms of stimulating arousal. Erotica art is something I enjoy but like all formats the enjoyment comes from what specifically turns me on. And what I have definitely learnt through this module is that I (and I would have to assume others) have particular things (at particular times) that arouse me more than others and are a source of arousal that differ depending on any number of factors.
Marta has hit the nail on the head about how the audio on Dipsea landed for me versus The Fuck Bar!
I also found it difficult to find a piece that hit it on all fronts… I either found the voice, the story line – the slightest bit of pandering to males sends my head off in an unhelpful, non erotic directions. I really dislike the enemies to friends story line. So too if the story was too long in the uptake – I guess in the mood I was in over the couple of days I was trying to find pieces I want to listen to probably didn’t help. I actually found lesbian stories more arousing.And then I discovered the Spicy AMSR stuff – the human sounds of arousal, with the odd word spoken was right up my alley.
And The Fuck Bar was sensational – definitely my thing…hearing about women who enjoy sex and being in control of their own choices and women who lean right in, is right up my alley. I think that the idea of like minded women is really reaffirming for me. CR’s ability to share those experiences was a huge turn on.
I have the sense that without paying for movies, people are offered a similar or short list of films.
The one I enjoyed the most was The Dirty Martini Party – the colourful, light setting and the mood of erotic lightness and sense of play and fun was epic.
The theme…essentially – people at a party, slowly exploring and enjoying each other’s bodies in an easy caring way.
I would love to be in this room – bisexual fun and pleasure – use of toys and slow full on sex and – the noises of others in the background. Would love to be directing and watching a group like this while being pleasured myself.
I’d not heard of the site before… but in talking about it to partners they certainly had…
Like many of the others above, if I had been told to capture the stories and their links that I liked I would’ve been able to find them. So, I’ll talk about the types of stories and themes I liked instead… I much prefer a short story – with just enough detail to get the dynamic… I enjoy stories where women are dominant and men experience the pain of rough sex, that they know is coming and although it hurts – they can’t get enough. Especially the stories to do with anal and the humiliation of their partner watching them being taken by another woman (there was a wrestling match story where if the guy could win against an amazonian woman with a dick he’d get $100,000. Of course he got his arse totally opened, over and again, round after round). I also enjoy a story about women loving rough sex, making noises that leave the whole building in no doubt that someone is having a brilliant time being fucked and fucked hard.
The taking of control thing… running the fuck, dominating the man – the more manly the better – is definitely my kind of literotica.
So much of the imagery had an arousing effect on me… the one that I could so readily work up a fantasy for was the gangbang scene from Betty’s fantasy journal.
Being surrounded by six men, all interested in pleasuring me and enjoying themselves at the same time… being in a warm room, with low lighting… with my delight in controlling everything that happens to create maximum pleasure for all – but especially me. I ended up writing quite the detailed fantasy scene … but when I read the existing forum notes I realised that I maybe took the idea further in writing than was necessarily asked for. So, it’ll stay in my journal!
This was a fun activity… using a sensual experience of being naked at the beach in the sun with a slight breeze, it was really easy to close my eyes and build on the feeling and take the feeling into a fantasy that then escalated through the second part of the activity… unsurprisingly, I then took some time out to lean into the fantasy during masturbation for delightful results.
<p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I feel very comfortable with my experiences, attitudes, and emotions about sexual fantasy and its role in my sex life. I feel like that might seem I am not looking at myself hard enough… but the last 2 years of my life, and why I am doing this course and going on to the Coach accreditation is because I believe in the value or a healthy and creative sex life for all!</p>
I lean to using my fantasies when edging and having a longer and slower masturbation session. I have used fantasies for masturbation since my 30’s and have not found it necessary to fantasise in partner sex since becoming single… if a sexual partner is not someone I can eyeball and talk about what is on the table sexually, then they are not someone I would have sex with again…
My fantasies include rough sex, gangbangs, multiple penetration, group sex and power and dominance – both ways are my key fantasy go to topics…
Off limits for me… scat, underage, incestuous relationships, rape and bestiality – none of which do anything for me.
<p style=”font-weight: 400;”>By the end of the module I have found that when it comes to my (usually twice daily) masturbation practice that I have so many more options at hand than I had been using.
Living by myself means I’m never interrupted in person – although I sometimes don’t switch my phone off.
My sessions can last anywhere between 20 minutes and 90 minutes – depending on whether it’s a quick stress release orgasm I’m after, or whether 90 minutes when I am applying the range of techniques I knew and have learnt during the course this and previous modules. I love dildos and external vibes – not a fan of internal vibes – and use a variety on different occasions. On occasion I enjoy double penetration with dildos and the vibe. The best new addition to my practice is the rock n roll and edging – bloody brilliant!
The biggest difference between the learnt masturbation techniques from the course are that I do not enjoy adding oil to my masturbation process. It makes it messy in a slippery, hard to hold my toys while playing kind of way. I seem to get so wet that I don’t need it and if I do I prefer lube to oil.
Realistically – the three keys changes are with respect to using the rock’n’roll in masturbation – I seem to have been doing it naturally during partner sex.
The second is the introduction of Pillow Fuck as a masturbation position – I definitely want to make my self a pillow using dense foam that can hold my vibrator in place in different positions so I can have it higher than a standard pillow.
And the final shift is the introduction of edging which I am so glad I leant into.
And leaning into letting my fantasies run wild while edging, in particular, is much more enjoyable than watching porn that I had used regularly historically.
This topic is, has been, was the first time I have been at odds with what I have experienced in the course to date.
As a person who has learnt from her early 40s about squirting – thanks to an osteopath – who knew about the spot – the urethral sponge and how it would activate the desire to release – I have been comfortable with my ability to do so.
I have been very upfront with new partners about my enjoyment of squirting as a response to stimulation. During the last year or so – prior to commencing the program, I didn’t think too hard about where it came from. But with a lot more masturbation, I noticed – particularly when I was dehydrated that my squirt was indeed light yellow in colour which was indicative of its source. Given Betty and Carlin’s expressions of distaste in the video about squirting (the one that referenced squirting as a parlour trick), I think it’s worth noting that I use a ‘splash blanket’ during sex and it gets washed after every play – whether I squirt or not… it’s much easier than changing the bedding and my lovely bedding stays fresh for sleeping.
Over the past week (May 2025) I have seen some great anatomical explanations about squirting and its sources. The holes that release prostatic fluid on either side of the urethra seem to release different coloured (clear to whiteish) and amounts of fluid during stimulation… and there seems to be a number of different factors about how much or how often I can squirt. I was glad to hear Laura talk about her experiences of squirting which intimated that more than a teaspoon of fluid was ejaculated from her body during stimulation.
In edging this week, I have not stimulated my urethral sponge directly – only my vaginal opening and clitoral glans and around the vulva generally. Even without the release of squirting (urethra/prostatic wise), I have been extraordinarily wet from my vagina and the glands that release lubrication there.
My biggest issue with the section on squirting was of Betty’s dismissal of it as a ‘parlour trick’, that it’s gross, showy and unpleasant. That it was a fake trick in porn (of which I agree – porn has a lot of misinformation to answer for!) Knowing that she didn’t squirt herself had me reflect on the connection between her not squirting and her opinion about it. I understand her concerns about the separation of penetration and the male model of sexual pleasure and that of the female… and her opinion on the myth of the G-Spot and that it is the urethral sponge that gets stimulated and stimulates the underside internally of the clitoris. This brings me to ask how, if the clitoris is being stimulated and squirting occurs and PSA fluid or pee leaves the body whether or not this would this not be considered an orgasm. I know the two could happen independently, but Betty seemed so adamant that squirting was not great or perhaps even real, bothered me… perhaps influenced by her dislike for females being subjected to the male model of sexual pleasure.
I am very curious about the difference of opinion about squirting between Betty, Deborah, Carlin and Laura. Curious and interesting.
<p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Either way, it’s been the only time I have experienced a dismissive and judgmental opinion from Betty about any experience, and of one I enjoy.</p>
<p style=”font-weight: 400;”>If an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm is release and squirting through sponge stimulation and the release of pee, is release, can that not be considered an orgasm if the underside of the clitoris is stimulated at the same time?</p>I used to think edging was just a male thing – that it would only benefit the quality of male orgasm – that because they need longer refractory time to recover after ejaculation… it made sense for them to prolong the pleasure as long as possible.
The thinking behind this is that as a woman who experiences multiple orgasms that why would I edge when I can just have more and more orgasms.
Being a committed student (insert goofy grin) to the course, I of course did as instructed and practiced the art of edging. I am now a wholesale convert and even feel a tad evangelistic about it.
My first deliberate edging session was only last night. And ofc a repeat this morning was required. I didn’t take as long this morning as I did last night but the difference in the intensity and quality of my orgasms last night and this morning were delightfully and exponentially better than an orgasm I knock out as quickly as I can – or even a more relaxed but go over the cliff on the first opportunity have been.
So glad I leant in. I can wait to see what a difference it make in partner sex and both of people’s experience of more intense orgasms for me. I have definitely been part of guys edging but now… I’m on it for myself!
