@lakota
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I love Sliquid Lube, I use their water base lube right now and have been trying to babystep my vulva and vaginal microbiome into using oil, because I’d like to use a lube I didn’t have to apply so often but I usually get itchy the next day with oil lube.
hmm besides the Bodysex Goop episode!?!?!
I recently watched Pretty Baby and while its tragic, it was really eye opening to see how society and the media completely turned on women who were beginning to own their bodies and sexuality by saying fine “little girls are the new thing”.
I just recently bought a cycle tracking book and I’m really hoping that helps me really tune in and pay attention to what my body needs and wants during my cycle.
I always make sure that I have chocolate on hand and a salty snack! And more than one size menstrual cup, I bleed really heavy on my second day so having a big cup for that day is a game changer but hauling that thing in and out of my vaginal canal on lighter days gets to be a drag so I use a smaller one for those days.
HUGE TIP! I almost forgot, peroxide!! if you leak blood anywhere on anything, peroxide will get it out instantly! bed sheets, panties, pants, chairs all of it!
I like to masturbate either early in the morning, before I’ve gotten out of bed or more frequently at night once the kids are asleep, and I can wind down and relax and take my time uninterrupted.
As far as frequency I would say minimum of 1 time per week, always favoring more than that. I noticed if go without the minimum of once per week my emotions, and self assuredness gets wonky.
I think my impatience can sometimes pull the wool over my eyes so to speak and make me think my masturbation routine is boring, but usually I notice that really, I’m just rushing. Ive also noticed that whenever I get bored of erotica reading or porn, If instead I I take the time to go within my body and my own fantasies like a meditation I get bored way less frequently.
I think a new toy has pulled me out of some slumps I’ve had in the past, and also reading about how others use the same toy has been really exciting while waiting for the toy to arrive in the mail!
I think for me this will be ever changing but currently my go to is the rock n roll, although I do have to remind myself of the relaxing part pretty often. I like laying my back and using a stainless steel dildo for penetration and the magic wand with my other hand for clitoral stimulation. I would like to put some more time and energy into the other styles to give them more of a chance but I find penetration with them a little hard.
For a few years we had a friend that was very needy and snarky when needs weren’t met, I allowed the friendship and his behavior to continue for 3 years before I finally decided I wasn’t allowing it anymore and I stopped all contact with him and told him I just couldn’t do it anymore, and that I also didn’t need to explain myself (as I had so many times previously). This person was a total energy drain on me and I felt really proud that I finally put myself first and ended things rather than worry about upsetting him. I have since then been very careful of who I allow into my close circle and how much of my energy I allow to funnel into certain relationships.
My favorite fantasy theme as of lately is just wild driven lust. Thinking about guys putting their penis in things that looks like they’d feel good and masturbating with those things. I love thinking about men being so turned on they masturbate anywhere especially naughty places like dressing rooms, or public transport. Im not really sure what the word for it is, but I enjoy a little mix of the guy apologizing for coming because he’s just so turned on he cant help it. I enjoy thinking about my partner masturbating to other women, or men too!
I also don’t play the entire storyline out in my head, but instead just images and little bits of dialogue.
If nothing else gets me there, these themes are my go to!
One really meaningful moment I had within a bodysex circle was at my first circle. Even though orgasm isn’t the goal of erotic recess, I was so nervous that I would not have an orgasm during. I remember Carlin was going around the circle and helping women who needed or wanted support and she was on the other side of the room. instead of waiting for her to get to me, I refocused my energy inwards and repeated the mantras Carlin had given us all before the start of erotic recess, “you don’t loose your erection”, “the orgasm doesn’t leave, its always there, and with enough stimulation will come”. I kept rocking my hips and repeating the mantras and then a fantasy slipped in. In the fantasy there was a big mind reading sentient plant in the center of the room, it snaked vines to each woman and penetrated each exactly how she liked with just the right girth and length and sure enough my orgasm built up and moved its way through my whole body. Creating a vocal pleasure presence among my bodysex sisters. I felt so self sure, and so independent. Sure, if Carlin had made it to me and supported that would have been great also, but I was on cloud nine given that I trusted my bodies capabilities, quieted my anxieties with mantras and dove within my own body to guide the pleasure I wanted.
I found Bodysex through a book called becoming literate that was suggested to me by my therapist, in that book they mentioned a few sources for self pleasure and Bodysex was the most in depth, thorough and “actually physical with your own body” source there was. So I kept exploring the site over and over again until I was ready to take the plunge and reach out to view the bodysex documentary with Laura and then attend a workshop.
Ive used a few over the years, condoms being the longest practiced method. I had a brief period with a diaphragm before my husband got a vasectomy and now that vasectomy is my main form of birth control since we are currently monogamous. I really enjoyed the diaphragm, I loved the control of it, I didn’t have to ask anyone to put a condom on I just put the diaphragm in when I wanted and that was that. im enjoying the vasectomy right now as well as I don’t have to think or consider anything.
My favorite Betty Dodson quote is “Sometimes the fucking you get, isn’t worth the fucking you get” Even thought this one is funny, I think it also really sheds light on the really crappy situation women can find themselves in if they aren’t self pleasuring. When you know and honor your own pleasure you don’t put up with as much, because you have what you really need already, you.
Hi, everyone!
My name is Lakota. I’m 32. I am ‘mama’ to three little ones and live with them and my husband in Michigan (USA).
I have been a stay at home, homeschooling mom for most of my adult life since I was 19 years old. I have always been creative and a jack of all trades throughout my life but I didn’t find my true hearts calling to purpose until I found Bodysex.
I love adventures big and small, trying new things and playing!
I really would like to go to a professional bdsm club and experience what it’s like to negotiate a situation, and also to experience some. Maybe submission, dominance, or any other types of stuff going on! I don’t know if I’ll know my hard “no” situations until I see them. So for now a lot is just maybe! A step towards that is googling my local bdsm community and getting in touch, as well as sharing that found info with my husband.
I have spent my entire life judging myself sexually and it wasn’t until bodysex that I noticed I was doing it and stopped. Whether that judgement being on my sexual fantasies, or my libido there was always somewhere for a mean doubtful voice to exist. I’m thankful for all that Betty learned about herself and women so that everyone can unlearn the negative self judgement if they choose. And I’m grateful that bodysex also has prepared me for when others do judge, I can wear their names, judgements etc proudly. Why yes, I am a slut, a fun one at that ????
