@martawojkowska
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I want to explore more BDSM, and especially bonding, spanking, being dominated by others..so I want to discuss that with my partner and agree on how we could do, what feels comfortable for him? and see how does this impact my arousal, sexuality – what does it bring to our sexual life? and also see if he is enjoying anything of it. It must be safe and open communication, so we do cross our boundaries. And I also would like to meet and talk to people who are part of BDSM community, and chat with them. I think that might be also interesting experience. Probably this are more aware and open people. more sexually educated and aware, so really nice to find out. For some of them this is art, for some it is sexaul act, for some just lifestyle – I would like to learn more about all of it. But 1st step would be to try it with my partner, to gain more of my own experience and that see what it does, how does it feel to me, to us..
I have not judged myself so much, neither was judged before. I think I was just raised and brought up in the catholic sexual context, and certain things were bad, certain were normal. So only after i started to educate myself, I started to open up and discover sexual world, and what it really means to me, what are my choices and why have I made such a choices. And the more i discover and learn, the less judgmental i become, and the dipper I want to go to understand what i do not know. This is actually beautiful.. and I was always self confident and did not so much care what others think about me (unless they are people whom I love). So it was and is helping me staying true to myself and be committed to my values.
I think before i had mainstream point of view on prostitutes, that this ugly and dirty work. Something you do, when there is no way out. And actually i like what Betty said about prostitutes – they are very intelligent, well sex educated women, who earn decent money and know their value. And reading from Betty memoir how it was to be a prostitute at that time – i like it pretty much:) i do not know any prostitutes today, but i am curious to learn who they are, what they know, how they perceive their work etc. Betty said – they are as well educated as I am – we can talk equal..this is wow, as it means we could learn from them so much and explore even more. It definitely changed my perspective on sex workers, and the more I am becoming one myself:)
I think for me what stands out of this chapter, is fact that we are/I am becoming a sex worker. I have not think about myself this way yet, but i find it true and interesting. And we are sex workers who do the education, who want to help and teach women of skills that are basic and critical for their happiness and fulfilled sexual life. This does make a difference for me. And I also like Betty statement, that taking a money for sex is better than spending whole day in the office:) and earning less..with so many years of experience myself – being in the office – i like to become a sex worker now even more:)
One of the myths of BDSM is that it is not normal, this is sickness or dysfunction. That normal people can not take pleasure from giving pain to others..and it is hardly known, that BDSM has very clear rules, and agreements, that there is always consent from both sides and in every moment you can stop or say no…people do not talk and share about being kinky or in the BDSM community (until we are in Bodysex group or we know each other super well). So it is not common to have this knowledge, talk to people who actually can share their experience and learn more about this topic. We quickly become judgmental and by not having enough knowledge and information we make wrong conclusions and judgments.
Yes, until Bodysex i was not aware of the word ‘kink’. I was aware of sadomasochizm and that is it. So now studying this topic more during the program, I actually start to see, I do have my kinks and it will be interesting to explore them more. I like bites and spanking during sex, also like to be dominated by my partner from time to time. Now when i learnt more about robes, I would like to try some bondage..and great to see this absolutely normal:)
Oh yes, I am Tantrica and actually Tantra has change my sexual life and relationship with my partner. I do practice tantra since 2018 with the school of Margot Anand whom I consider best tantra in the world. This is Tantra which was initiated by Osho, and translated to western world, so people could get it, understand it. For me tantra is a the way you chose to live your life. Its philosophical and experiential, and than its sexual. Sexuality is only part of tantra, but indeed important part of it. Overall it teaches you how to enjoy the life, how to become life observer, how to think about jealousy and attachment, what is pleasure and how to cultivate it, how to move and work with your energy and many many other things. We do tantra together with my husband, we go to the workshops together and than go through the transformation together. It is long and amazing process, where workshop is actually the beginning, initiation of how you start to look at your life differently afterwards. And for couples its great, it shows you different perspective on possessiveness, ownership, jealousy – polarity of all the aspects or decisions you make in life – and there is no good or wrong:) everything is perspective, everything is a choice. Interesting to observe and understand why we are making certain choices in life, what is our motivation and why? where is it coming from – from our true self or something else (pleaser, culture, social standard etc). Very exciting journey and i recommend for everyone to experience Tantra in their life.
I really like how she actually stated that Betty was tantrica, but she has never admit it:) I think both Barbara and Betty are very down to earth teachers, who are able to transmit quite complicated processes in a very simple way. They both share their knowledge and practices in a simple, pragmatic way so more people can get it. And i love it. You can only do that, when you yourself have quite a big experience in doing what you are teaching and sharing. And this is highest peace of mastery..and myself being a tantrica can fully agree with what Barbara said – both about analogu to Betty and her practices – combining energy orgasm with genitals stimulation is having big fire burst there, and this is what all want – more and more experience. Here you go:)
Still a lot needs to be done. More sexual education and awareness to young girls and women, with acceptance for their sexuality as early as they start to explore. We can start making the girls aware of the need to study sexuality, be proactive and learn, the same way as they learn about diet, sleep, health and sport. We have internet today and social networks, what is making this so much more accessible and available. We need to spread the word, organize circles be active to help there out, to change the world, as Betty have said..
It does. Especially in religious cultures, where you have to commit your loyalty to you husband, the only one partner. This culture does not accept having sex with anyone else. If you have done it its a sin, you have to go to church and confess, regret of what you have done and ask for forgiveness…imagine it. And than also everyone in your social circle are talking about you, whisper behind your ears in the shop, on the street whenever they meet you (especially in smaller cities or villages). And you know you did not a right thing, you feel like a slot – and it is a bad feeling..so there is nowhere to go to get acceptance, to hear that our sexuality belong to us, it is good however you feel it should be good..so if there is no one else there sending any positive signal, sign of acceptance – it means i am wrong, i did awful things..unfortunately this is how it looks like, even today. No place for experimenting, trying things out, looking for myself – who am i really? what so i like? what is truth to me? this is how slut stigma is doing its job in repressing women in all ages, especially the jong one, who should be trying and exploring their sexuality, with common understanding and acceptance and instead guild, shame and confession in the church.
Oh yes I had and it was twice in bodysex workshops. This is life changing experience, it is AMAIZING. After my first bodysex workshop, after i came back home, i decided i want to become a bodysex facilitator. The energy of a group orgasm is huge, is great is transformative and is so much healing. The orgasm starts to go one by one in the circle, and it can be laughgasm or crygasm.. i had laughgasm and it was just great. In a second you hear all the room laughing with you:) this is an experience that is hard to describe, until you feel it. And the energy does not end in the room, it lasts after the workshop, and this energetic field stays with you for a quite some time. Long enough to make all the changes that are needed exactly for you, whenever you are on your life journey. It is uncovering your spiritual, creative and feminine potential, it makes you true you, empowered you, best you..I want to live a life full of this moments.
We are considering with my partner to open the relationship- we learn about pros and cons.. the biggest challenge for me is- I do not want to be hurt.. and you never how you feel, how you will react until you see your beloved one with arms of other women.. it can hurt in this moment and it’s too late to change that, it already happened.. so for me this is main stopper to do it. Also what I observed so far, is that opening your relationship almost never finish well long term- mostly it ends with drama.. there is hardly any couple I know who has opened the relationship and is still together after few years.. so for me it’s for now observer and learn journey- it is important for me not to destroy what work’s really well:)
The thing I remember from the interview is how Dossie Dossie was talking about jealousy. When asked what about jealousy when you share your partner with other men and women? She explained that jealousy never stops, our reaction to it can change. When we have to deal with the situation for the 1st time, it can be hard and seem like cold waterfall just flow over us. But when we learn to become observers, deal with the situation, next time when it happen we can manage it. We can be aware and react differently- it’s not waterfall anymore, but feels more like a rain.. I like this analogy and agree with her that becoming more aware of our reactions we can change and manage them in different way.
One big myth is that sex primary function and motivation is procreation. What is coming out of the videos is that maybe even stronger, roles of sex is need to bond, belong and create community, tribe. And than men do not need to compete with each other to be with a women – they can live in harmony and friendship together in one tribe, loving all the children they have in the community.
Well for me, this is a great confirmation that time of women is now – we are coming back, we are coming back to the position we had ad the beginning of humanity – where we were goddesses. And this movement has started and has still a lot to transform, so we have to actively drive the change. And this will also has consequences, as men will not easily give up the power they have gained during last hundreds of years. So it will be more repression on women, more violence, more aggression as we move on this ‘ come back’ journey. This allows me to better understand the times we are living in. Thanks to Dr shlain I understood that we had this power at the beginning – we were goddesses at the beginning of humanity..so actually during last hundred of years women were repressed and on purpose kept low. Sexual repression is just part of this bigger ‘goddess repression’ which is now changing and transforming to right balance. Great to contribute to this movement and bringing to the women knowledge and awareness of their freedom and power.