@monica
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I would love to take part in an all women group sex. I went close to going at this type of event a couple of months ago while I was in NYC but things turned out differently and I couldn’t attended. The first step has already been taken—subscribing to a club. The next step would be to chat with women involved in or hosting these events to get information about how it works when you are a beginner.
Yes, by my mother who feared I was a lesbian and kept me asking that in my teenage because I had very close girlfriends. She shamed me a lot about it. At that time, I wasn’t interested by girls to my knowledge. It was all about boys boys boys. I grew up developing a strong feeling about women as well as men I can now fully acknowledge. I had to work on feelings of guilt and shame to overcome the impression I was somehow doing/thinking something wrong. My prudish education had a strong old on me even though I thought otherwise for a long time. Now, I feel free to express my sexuality the way I want thanks to Bodysex.
I think sex workers should be protected and respected as every other worker, they should be recognized by society for providing a service for people in sexual needs–often as a result of our cultures of repression–, they should be well paid and have the choice to decide whether they want to be self-employed, part of a collective, or unionized. Respect of fundamental (work) rights for all.
This quotation from Margot St James cited by Betty in her article entitled “Is it Ethical to Have Sex for $?”: “The main difference between a prostitute and a wife is the prostitute rents her body by the hour while the wife sells hers permanently.” It is meaningful to me because it draws the fact that this trade-off—sex/housework for financial security—is the blue print of the traditional marriage contract which is not fairly presented as such to women. Making women believe that prostitution is the real ordeal for them is the myth by which marriage functions and keep women entrapped.
I think the absence of prior agreement is one common misconception regarding BDSM. I didn’t know that myself as I was ignorant of the fact that the consent to an act can be retired at any given moment. Kink/BDSM is all about communication.
At first, I thought I had no BDSM experience whatsoever until I recalled this one: I once designed a scene with a friend during a Halloween party while in college and it was pure joy all night. We played a sado-masochist lesbian couple and went to a bar. I was in a submissive position and being restrained—tied to a pole—responding to her orders and commands. We had such a great time. So, yes, I guess I could enjoy it again and try different roles in the future.
I’m practising kundalini yoga and breathwork daily, and I’m also interested in the chakra system so I do have certain notions related to Tantra.
Like Tosh did mention, when Barbara states that we are wounded healers, it resounds with me. I think that’s why I’m so driven by the Bodysex because it is Betty’s process as well. She designed Bodysex in accordance with her experience and to heal herself in a circle. Every Bodysex leaders will bring their own self into the process and I’m convinced it will enriched the practice as Barbara also evokes. It’s exciting!
Speaking out loud and help other sisters to do so in order to understand that the demands society formulate upon us are unrealistic and dumb. Betty makes the suggestion of forming a group of women to talk about sexuality and this is exactly what I’m going to do through a CALACS Center here in Quebec—a center dedicated to fight against the rape culture and to help women regain control over their lives after having been assaulted. It is a sex positive organization with many centers throughout the province. A social worker proposed me just to do so yesterday after I talked to her about my Bodysex certification! YAY!
It reinforces the idea that women should marry, stay pair-bonded all life long, and only get to know one sexual experience in their whole lives. What a ridiculous fantasy! By shaming them over experiencing different sexuality and partners, this idea is reinforced: if you don’t want to be a slut, make out with one man and marry him. I can’t believe this is still the message we most of the time get in society in North America.
My first experience of sharing orgasm with a group was during my first Bodysex workshop at Menla in June 2023. I since have assisted another Bodysex circle and took part in virtual masturbation group. I really loved my first group sex! It is certainly one of the best experience of my life so far. I did not have too much expectations before going. I went there with an open heart and mind. I felt prepare though because I had already read Sex for One, watched all the podcast on Youtube, and watched the Bodysex documentary. What I liked the most was the security and friendship I felt in group, the laughter and chatting, it was all about pleasure and not about seriousness at all. It freed myself from being so serious about being nude and sexual with other women, some reminiscent shame and guilt related to my relationship with my mother. All of this melted away in the instant of orgasm and the pure joy I had witnessing other women orgasm. I felt part of a profound sisterhood and it felt amazing to be a woman. I knew I wanted to do it for the rest of my life and to become a Bodysex leader.
We change over time and that’s the beauty of keeping an open mind. Not being so rigid about certain principles is what makes us adaptable, compassionate, curious, and interesting. This lesson shed new lights on my history of being nonmonogamous I had never considered before. Also, I realize that polyamory is in accordance with my political and feminist view and I’m open to that too in a certain extend.
The way she problematizes jealousy is really meaningful to me. She says that jealousy is not an emotion but a certain reaction to a stimulus. You can act angry or sad or abandoned or it can gives you the feeling that you have done something wrong. Your reaction tells a lot about yourself and your patterns of behaviour. When you become aware of that, you can decide to change it in a more positive way. She also emphasizes that there is no way around jealousy. You have to go through it and work with it. I really love this idea that you can grow and mature from it.
A common misconception is that sex is primarily for reproduction and not for pleasure, bonding, sociality, peaceful relationship, diplomacy, easing tensions, and so on and so forth. It is in complete accordance with what Betty and other sex positive feminists claimed back in the days and continue to claim. Sexuality is a means to create human community and it should be revered. Since women are more sexual than men, it makes sense that women once were and have always been sexual goddesses. In a patriarchal contact, they are killed for detaining such a power.
