Home Forums Book Discussion Orgasms for Two by Betty Dodson Something that Stood Out

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  • #3853
    Laura Bogush
    Keymaster

      Share something that stood out for you while reading Orgasms for Two and why it’s meaningful to you. It can be a quote, an illustration, a paragraph, a story, or a chapter. Please reference a page number, if possible.

      #4500
      Lakota
      Participant

        On page 61 Betty talks about jealousy and using pleasure to get through jealousy. I never thought this would work but wholly shit, I realized most of my resentments I held were rooted in jealousy of what my husband or men more easily come by in sexual beliefs, sexual actions, sexuality in society etc and once I realized I could harness my pleasure to help get over jealousy and heal it I felt so much more whole and happy equalizing things for myself.

        #4653
        Marta Wojkowska
        Participant

          Oh i really love the whole book, great to have it in my repertoire of must read books. As I am in long term relationship, it was really very interesting for me to read it and hear Betty hints and tips for happy relationship. And she is so right in almost all her observation, I like that everything she describes is based on her own massive experience. Few insights which i also find to be true in my relationship and make us a happy couple:

          I like the chapter of Sharing masturbation – it really made a difference to my and us a couple relationship. I am fully with Betty sharing the word: ‘Share the good news with all of your close friends: Embracing masturbation is the foundation for mutitally orgasmic partnersx. That statement will at least start an interesting conversation, I promise’  – I have already started Betty, and it does make a difference. (page 107)

          I also like her statement that ‘The electric vibrator is to woman what Viagra is to men’ (page 118). It gives new, interesting perspective on vibrator role. I have never thought of it this way:)

          I love the whole chapter dedicated to men with must have skills to become World Class Lover – I was happy that we (together with my partner) are already familiar with most of them. This has to be spread out to the world! (page 143)

          And I love her calling at the end of the book: ‘If you are friend of sex who would like to take a stand for pleasure, start today by enjoying your own selfloving sessions without any guilt or apology . Telling your friends about your favourite masturbation or partnersex techniques with a descriptoin of one of your better orgasms qualify you as budding sexual activist in my book.’ Yes yes yes – only now I have realization that I am a sexual activist and I love it. Here we come Betty!

           

          #5741
          Tosh Patterson
          Participant

            I read the audiobook, which had chapter numbers not titles, but I liked the story of Betty going to a bachelorette party. It was a power-packed chapter that summarized and demonstrated:

            1) that even modern women, living and working in an urban mecca like NYC, are still uneducated about sex and don’t prioritize their sexual pleasure

            2) Women are disconnected from their bodies and, unfortunately, lacking vulva knowledge.

            3) Women are embarrassed about masturbation.

            4) Women are misinformed by magazines about having orgasms via penetration only; plus they have no idea about the male model instead of the female model of sexual response.

            Also, the chapter highlights that women go into marriage without the knowledge or skills needed to have satisfying sex with a partner. It’s easy to see how women have babies and rarely have orgasms. All the more reason Bodysex continues to be necessary

            #6583
            Rachel Hill
            Participant

              Something that stood out to me was a quote from Chapter 1 page 3: “How we make love to ourselves is what we bring to partnersex.” I think that is a profound statement and observation on the importance of masturbation to develop your foundation of sexual pleasure.  Someone who doesn’t masturbate at all isn’t going to know what feels good for them or how their body works.  Someone who rushes through masturbation to orgasm as quickly as possible is going to replicate that in partnersex.  It’s difficult to learn new things with a partner.  It’s a lot better to be continuously working on your own technique so that when you do have partnersex you can bring more to the table.

              #7203
              Monica
              Participant

                “We wonder why there is so much violence in America, yet so few have the courage to embrace its opposite—sexual pleasure.” (47)

                It makes so much sense to me. Sexual pleasure is the key to pacification, sociability, community, and solidarity. Embracing our differences and learning from each other can be achieve through sharing our orgasm and the Bodysex workshop proves it. We have to step out of sexual repression in order to connect in a more profound and meaningful way to one another.

                #7416
                Emma Snellgrove
                Participant

                  I love the whole book. I have a focus on anal sex right now, so all the stuff on anal sex is jumping out at me. On page 21 below the image of two people performing anal sex with toys, it says, anal must be performed when sexually aroused, use plenty of lube and go slow. I have a hesitancy to do anal with my parter because I’m worried he won’t go slow. But I think that’s me just worrying. I need to go all the way with myself first.

                  I appreciate what she talks about on page 169 “I’ll show you mine” about penis size. Being an auntie to two boys ( young men) and a step Mum to two boys, and with a man who sometimes feels his dick isn’t big enough. I want to encourage the understanding that Betty’s emphasises… That while size does matter for some people ie Women. Sex skills are the most important.

                   

                  The last paragraph of the preface, really reaffirms again why I want to be a Bodysex leader, Betty’s says ” It is my firm belief that enjoying more sexual pleasure with ourselves as well as each other will make us all a little bit nicer, less violent, and more creative. ”

                  Thank you Betty.

                  #7474
                  Lincoln Iverson
                  Participant

                    Something that stood out to me was Betty and Eric’s relationship. Their meeting and the beginning of their relationship, as well as the playfulness they enjoyed was HOT. I also appreciate the way she talks about how people responded to an older woman being with a younger man and how we’re so conditioned to think about the opposite but Betty and Eric were met with a lot of raised eyebrows and judgment.

                    When she was talking about aunties and elders educating the youths of the community about sex it was validating for some information I’ve received through some shamanic journey work. I’ve had nighttime dreams where everyone greets each other with some form of affectionate touching or penetration and journeys where a piece of what’s missing for our culture is initiating our youths into adulthood. Our lack of initiation is a pretty well-known thing but what I never hear anyone talking about is the sexual component to this. Anyway, Betty and Eric being together as they were and then being the inspiration for Orgasms for Two is just really lovely and sweet.

                    I did have one weird feeling though, when Eric told Betty that he wanted to be the one to carry on her work. Maybe I misunderstood but it sounded like he wanted to work with women. I guess this is fine but we don’t need a man to teach us about vulvas, I don’t care how awesome he is, it’s not his place. I tried to look him up but I can’t recall his last name. I feel like what he needed to do was to teach this work to other people with penises. People with penises also need the work. Maybe he’s doing that now. I hope he’s doing that now. Once I get the print copy of the book I’ll look again. Or ask Laura or Carlin.

                    #8152

                    What stood out for me “Maintaining Private Solo Sex In a Partnership” pg. 100

                    This chapter took away a lot of my shame  about secretly masturbating. It is not a secret any longer.  That it is healthy to masturbate, that it allows me to focus on my own pleasure without having to focus or worry about what is happening with my partner’s pleasure. P. 100

                    Masturbation also helps relief tension and quiet my mind, use fantasy without shame and try new erotic toys. It has also decreased my resentment about not getting enough sex cause I am not dependent on when my partner wants sex, I just go masturbate.

                    #8639
                    Susan Searing
                    Participant

                      The audiobook is harder to reference page numbers and chapters for me.  This was my favorite of all of our required readings of Betty’s.  I absolutely loved all of the stories about her relationship with Eric, who was in my opinion the type of man and relationship I would enjoy having in my older years. She often referenced his slow, gentle and always well oiled hands while touching her vulva. He seemed to masterfully handle himself and Betty. I loved anything that referenced mutual masturbation and am feeling that that floats to the top of my teachings for anyone who will listen to me regarding sexual relationships.

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