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  • in reply to: Myths About the Hymen and Virginity #10647
    Kirste Carlson
    Participant

      Talk about gaslighting! I did not know that the hymen is not actually a real thing. I knew that it didn’t always break from penetration  but from any kind of activity and I don’t really think I had that experience with my first sexual penetration experience. The thing that blows me away is that I didn’t realize the total fallacy of it. It really blows my mind how over history people seem to have bought into it thinking about tests of virginity for women who were “marrying” as  royalty, etc. So MUCH abuse of women & girls over a concept! It makes complete sense to me that the Bodysex curriculum/recommendations for beginners are that the person themselves ought to be the first first one to penetrate the vagina or the anus. I really ache for youngsters or anybody who feels like the first time needs to be almost forced and needs to be painful and that there needs to be blood. I think about my nieces and nephews and other young people that I consider that I have some maybe responsibility to them to provide guidance that may be their parents wouldn’t even know how to give. I have to think about this and maybe I’ll start up a discussion with my female in laws and mother’s among mothers of daughters among our clan.

      in reply to: Viva La Vulva Video #10633
      Kirste Carlson
      Participant

        My experience was pleasant, nostalgic, if a little self-conscious, to reacquaint myself with the aesthetic of the various forms. It had been a long time since I’d seen much pussy. I very rarely watch porn & don’t see it socially. I felt remiss in not staying connected to the cunt energy. In 1977 or so I was making cunt forms in my art school classes…. 50 years ago… I remember how intrigued and stimulated I was in those days… Time to return to the SOURCE.

        New thing: I was unaware of ALL the variety. The exquisite taxonomy, variations in every anatomical structure, variations in color, texture, etc. Not quite like snowflakes! So alive and warm!!

        in reply to: Vulva Images #10628
        Kirste Carlson
        Participant

          <p class=”p1″><span class=”s1″>My experience was pleasant, nostalgic, if a little self-conscious, as I reacquainted myself with the aesthetic of the various forms. It had been a long time since I’d seen much pussy. I very rarely watch porn & don’t see it socially. I felt remiss in not staying connected to the cunt energy. In 1977 or so I was making cunt forms in my art school classes…. 50 years ago… I remember how intrigued and stimulated I was in those days… Time to return to the SOURCE. Reading the book CUNT for the course was exhilarating </span></p>
          <p class=”p1″><span class=”s1″>New thing: I was unaware of ALL the variety. The exquisite taxonomy, variations in every anatomical structure, variations in color, texture, etc. Not quite like snowflakes! So alive and warm!!</span></p>

          in reply to: Body Appreciation #10596
          Kirste Carlson
          Participant

            I’ve returned to chiropractic care.

            I’m eating less junk and drinking more water.

            I’m taking Laura’s course and I will do the “homework.

            I will continue regular tai chi.

            I will ride my bike and see if I can recapture the feelings of freedom and exhilaration that I remember from junior high.

            Next month I’m going to South Dakota to masturbate! This summer I’m going to Lansing to masturbate! In the Fall I’m going downtown to masturbate!

             

            in reply to: Body Compliments #10595
            Kirste Carlson
            Participant

              I am going to tell you what I want to be able to tell myself:

              1) I’m so proud that I have regained my health and energy…

              2) I’m ecstatic that I am reclaiming my mojo and ready to share it with my partner …

              3) I can have a full body orgasm on my own pretty much anytime I want… going “slow by slow”

               

              in reply to: STI’s: Sexually-Transmitted Infections #10594
              Kirste Carlson
              Participant

                I have luckily avoided genital herpes and many of the other infections. I have occasionally had sores on my mouth which I carefully manage. At least once I had haemophilus, a very smelly one! I probably picked it up from a partner. All I remember is needing to make sure I didn’t stink in public.

                Being a health care provider myself I have always had access to care that been supportive and good and thorough. I know that’s lucky. I’ve also guided many of my own clients to proper care, educated them re prevention, andassisted with shame amelioration.

                in reply to: Intentional Motherhood #10582
                Kirste Carlson
                Participant

                  I’ve often described myself as a ‘poster child’ for happy childless women. I like the term intentional mother more.

                  in reply to: Two Sexual Revolutionaries #10581
                  Kirste Carlson
                  Participant

                    Difficult to listen knowing how women lost the right to choose… I did not know Carol Downer’s name! What a warrior.  Looking forward to learning. I can hardly think about the overturn of Roe without wanting to scream. It makes sense but I never thought about women having to hide their gender to be fairly evaluated on law tests.
                    Personally I haven’t had to have an abortion. I made the decision to do it then was not actually pregnant. I was in a terrible mistake of a marriage, under 30, pretty sure I never wanted kids. I got lucky but  have been through it with clients, though, quite a few times. Always grateful they had that choice and honored to be a trusted support and sounding board.
                    In addition, I’ve often considered how, as a nurse, I might be able to assist with menstrual extraction. Now glad to know more details about how it actually works and the contrast to ending a pregnancy.

                    I very much appreciated Betty’s and Carlin’s candor about their experiences.

                     

                     

                     

                     

                    in reply to: My Menopause Experience #10562
                    Kirste Carlson
                    Participant

                      I’m embarrassed that I really don’t remember having any trouble going through menopause. Probably there was something and I don’t want to remember! Thankfully all is pretty good now. Dryness yes, but going to ask doc @ some topical estrogen cream.

                       

                       

                       

                       

                       

                      in reply to: Sexuality and Pregnancy, Breastfeeding, and Motherhood #10560
                      Kirste Carlson
                      Participant

                        I never aspired to be a mother. Early on I recognized that I had been mothered very ambivalently and I didn’t want to pass that on. I have seldom regretted that choice.  My way to contribute to the future is to be the best therapist I can and to support my friends, neighbors, and coworkers who ARE moms. When people inquire whether I have children I always answer “I give at the office!”

                         

                         

                         

                         

                        in reply to: Menstruation Open Share #10557
                        Kirste Carlson
                        Participant

                          Like said in the last post, I got through it. The pain was the worst of it. The PMS I barely remember. I probably drank alcohol to cope at first. I got sober in my 30’s and was kinder to my body, let myself rest and appreciate my womanhood and extra sensitivity. The one thing I’d like to change for the next generation is to celebrate the menarche and get rid of the shame/need for secrecy.

                          in reply to: Honor and Self-Care During Menstruation #10556
                          Kirste Carlson
                          Participant

                            I’ve been in menopause/crone for quite a few years now. I surely don’t miss my period. Basically what I remember is getting though it… At first there were no NSAIDS yet and I would have to go to bed with the heating pad b/c of the pain. A few times it was so bad my mother would give me a shot of Jack Daniel’s to knock me out. Eventually menstrual cups were available, and i used one, occasionally but by that time my flow was much more manageable and tampons were less of a fuss. Unfortunately I was never clued into nor did I think of orgasms as pain relievers. I remember avoiding period sex as too messy.

                            in reply to: Grateful for Body Change #10555
                            Kirste Carlson
                            Participant

                              I’m grateful to be alive and IN my body so much of the time now!

                              in reply to: Struggle With Body Change #10554
                              Kirste Carlson
                              Participant

                                I’m physically weak! I’m very ashamed to be in this situation. I stopped aikido (long story) which demanded a lot of up and down with the leg muscles and also let my Vitamin D go low. Subsequently I have ended up unsteady on my feet and have too much difficulty getting up from the ground once down. I fear becoming the woman on the ad with the pitiful line “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” where an elder has to have an emergency button on a necklace to summon help. This summer I vow to get walking, gardening, and otherwise moving my big muscles again.

                                in reply to: Why Is Nudity Important in Bodysex? #10553
                                Kirste Carlson
                                Participant

                                  <div>Requiring nudity is perhaps the only way to test people’s readiness to trust the group to teach them. I don’t think it’s wrong for a vulva-haver to not be able to go there but that kind of anxiety/fear/shame however it does say something about the level of support the person will need to be relaxed enough to learn in that setting. A slower entry may be necessary for some would-be participants. Ethically I wouldn’t be comfortable with a person feeling forced.</div>

                                Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 25 total)