@megan
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My self-love and worship practice is ornate and changes depending on my needs, mood and desires. It can include smoking some weed or a glass of whiskey, lighting candles, having a bath or shower by candlelight, listening to sexy witchy music (Aurora, Stevie Nicks, Florence and the Machine) or some audio erotica (I like Quinn and Dipsea, they also do body scan meditations like Carlin’s). I’ll massage my body with lotion and oil, do vulva massages with my hands, rolling my hips and pelvis and other movements and stretching. Going deeper in my breathwork, relishing the sighs, moans and sounds I make. Talking dirty to myself, maybe including some toys or accessories for sensation (rope, nipple clamps, vibrators, dildo and butt plug). I love these sessions and taking the time for a few hours to pamper myself this way. It usually leads to being creative and then treating myself to a delicious sweet treat and tea 😀 The goal is to continue exploring these practices and incorporating more fun, whimsy and play.
I love hearing that they love my vulva and clit, that it’s soft, they like my pubic hair and are addicted to my smell and taste
That they love my body hair (underarm, legs and pubic hair) and that it’s soft and sexy
I love hearing that they love all my flesh and curves, breasts, hips and ass
I’ve been very sex education-minded since university and felt that I’ve been fortunate to engage in sex when I was ready and self-empowered. I entered my world of sexual play with safer sex practices for the most part and have only had Chlamydia one time from the person with whom I ended up in a 9 year long relationship with (it was at the very beginning of our time together and we were in Banff, Alberta ther STI capital of Canada – their sexual health clinic is truly one of the best). I am now a proud slutty person and still engage with a combo of test results from partners, condoms and getting tested myself every 3-6 month (in the UK they have some great and very accessible systems in place I think more countries could learn a lot from Including swabs and blood tests using lancets done in the privacy of your own home you then mail to the lab and get results in less than a week usually). I think generally I’ve gotten more risk-tolerant simply because of my lack of shame around sex, desire to teach others that STI’s are no worse than most colds/flus and that HSV1/2 and HIV are preventable and treatable. I love barrierless sex and I wanna live my sex life without fear.
A non-exhaustive list; off the top of my head
More birth control methods for men and people with penises that stop them being able to ejaculate genetic material (with the possibility to procreate with every come.
Midwives and doulas to be normal and expected support systems for labouring mothers.
The choice to be childfree is neutral or just as celebrated as the choice to become a parent.
Comprehensive sexual health education focused on pleasure, with birth control and health and safety being alongside it.
More advancements in process and protocol engaging holistic practices for pregnancy and birth.
Plentiful and easy access to plan B/contincency pill, early abortion/menstrual extraction, always access to abortion for complications.
Education and accountability for men who impregnate women. Punishment and social change for abusers and men who rape children (who then become unintentional mothers)
Women who choose to give birth and wanting to go through the journey of motherhood, being supported in community and infrastructure that makes it financially feasible.
Maternity and paternity leave
Newborn Boxes and food organized by local government for all new parents.
<p class=”p1″>This is the first I’ve ever heard of menstrual extraction and I found it absolutely fascinating. Carol’s story and the path that it took to come back to an old practice such as this one, makes perfect sense. If you’re someone familiar with your own body, uses a menstrual cup, a diaphragm and can explore your own cervix, using a speculum, you could, with support, do this procedure to minimize trauma. Using a method that speaks to a more holistic relationship with a female body that has been taken away from us by the patriarchal medical system. I did a bit more reading up on Carol‘s work and it’s upsetting to see that people are being forced in the direction of undercover abortions. Her work may become more relevant very quickly. It was fascinating to hear them discuss parallels and the censorship and difficulties pioneering these ideas, even to other women. It reiterates much work there is to do. Returning to a more simplified, common-sense style support between women in community. It always seemed to be the answer.</p>
I’m 37, so I’m not there yet. I’m fortunate to have a very active and engage self-sexual practice and a mother who is a natural health practitioner and true wise woman who focuses on women in peri/menopause reorienting their diet and relationship with their bodies towards a gentle transition. We share lots of wisdom with each other about female health, sexual and otherwise. I feel calm and even looking forward to it.
<p class=”p1″>I’m fortunate to be amongst community of families, and women especially, who think outside the box and attune very much to their own needs when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth I am often someone they call to ask about the specifics of the overlap with their sexuality and for permission to be sexual and orgasmic while pregnant. I very much agree with Tosh’s comment above, and how this is connected to perfection and the intense pressure that comes with this responsibility, change in the body, possibility for complications or even death. That one person’s experience will somehow be any similar to anyone else’s.</p>
<p class=”p1″>If I know the woman, I have very much encouraged conversation around how she feels about her body, how it’s growing, if she’s attuned with her erotic self and feels positive about being sexual while pregnant. A friend was excited to receive Hitachi magic wand from me as her labour gift and I encouraged her to use it to massage her body during labour and see if she could make her birthing experience connected to pleasure. The mainstream story of birth is also medical, sterile and power given to the doctors. It’s still very foreign for women to want to create an environment for birth that is similar to how they prefer their environments to be when they have pleasure and orgasm. I’m choosing not to give birth, but rather be a support and extended family auntie/big sister to my friends’ kids and soon my sister’s first baby. I have friends and colleagues who are doulas and see the increase of these alternative modalities being chosen again.</p>
More than anything, I’m so in tune with seeing the value and benefits of having my cycle and my bleed, my rage is at capitalism and patriarchy creating a work schedule and environment that is SOOOOOO out of sync with nature and natural cycles (effective at exhausting us and throwing our energies entirely out of wack). I will rant to anyone I meet about how we must rebel against these falsely created structures that steal our power. I do everything I can to decenter these systems in daily actions and inner thoughts (awareness of how much my own brain has been manipulated to the propaganda of these systems). I’m intentionally building a life that shakes the status quo and hopefully inspires women and folks who bleed to do the same. Using period blood and sex magick to engage the matriarchy and culture shift towards care, nurturance and creation.
This past month was the second one in a row that my bleed started on the full moon so I know I’m coming into some strong sex magick energy 😝 I have really been attuning to trying my best to empty my schedule for the first 2 days so I can smoke weed, paint, masturbate, eat snacks, take epsom salt baths and journal. I don’t have a lot of pain (grateful and fortunate), sometimes a strong headache preceeds it and I’ll have achy legs and want to stretch and do gentle yoga. I harness all the internal and reflective energy of the blood and the moon to create. I’m in love with my menstruation and I’ve used menstrual cups and discs since my late teens which has been such a normalizing element. I recently painted a pussy portrait using my menstrual blood and loved that process. The colour is so vivid and changes when it dries (I tried to add it here but can’t figure out how to upload it)
Definitely feel a deepening of my pleasure and capacity for edging sessions and orgasms. I have enjoyed more playfulness in my body. I practice Shibari rope bondage and play the Bodhran (a celtic drum), both of these practices are physical meditations that keep me in my body. I do saunas and cold swims as often as I can (monthly at least). I love discovering the strength my body can keep. I’m grateful to be able to keep her entertained and in sustainable, physical form.
In my mid and now later 30s I notice more softness in my curves, my facial hair and body hair amount has changed. I’m feeling more aches and sensitivity to not keeping up exercise. My gut needs some TLC and I’m currently doing a parasite cleanse to try to help my digestion and my energy levels. I’m more settled in my style now and dress for comfort, confidence and creativity. Over all loveing my body as it’s aging and settling more into itself. Working through the transitions of it, I’m mindful to keep a seasonal practice of self-massage with oils, dressing for myself, spa time, adjusting my diet depending on the season. Smoking weed and dancing, moving, hiking, and yoga. Keeping an ongoing dialogue and feedback loop with her.
I dislike the struggle I sometimes feel for having thick and dark hormonal facial hair growth on my chin and neck. It distracts me and is an ongoing challenge because I’m affected by the sensory feel of it and when I remove it, it leaves redness and irritation. Something I’m looking forward to is either working out my thyroid and supporting my hormones so the hair is less or fully accepting my bog-witch ways and growing out my beard! The humour of that reframing helps 😀
My orgasms are powerful, plentiful and diverse. They vary in pace, sensation, fantasy, magick, depth, and intensity. Solo and Partnered, a snack or a meal, romantic and raunchy, creative and playful. I’m incredibly grateful and fortunate to have open and orgasmic parents who are intentionally monogamous and thought my masturbation exploration as a child was natural and normal (just needed to remind me it was something to be done in private in the family home). I was my first lover and chose to use a toy to penetrate myself for the first time rather than leave that up to a potentially clumsy partner. I’m also fortunate to have not experienced assault or harassment that left me with trauma or needing to do a lot of unlearning about being deserving of pleasure,for this I am endlessly grateful and I’ve learned this makes my experience unique to other women and femmes in a way that saddens me deeply. My passion for supporting other women and vulva owners in radically loving themselves, rejecting patriarchal capitalism to own and access their own infinite pleasure, is rooted in this fundamental freedom that I had access to in my childhood and youth. I am endlessly fascinated with the human body, and it’s capacity for unfathomable pleasure journeys. I can’t wait to see and experience my orgasms’ evolution as I age and experience life even more fully.
I have been fortunate for most of my life to love my body. The world reflected to me that there were people similar to me who were attractive, and in seeing that it was easier to accept that about myself. Being in my 30s now I see the softness, the imperfections in my skin a bit more, but I’m cognizant of the little conversation I have in my head to reframe with gratitude and love. I was more challenged in my youth with the presence of darker facial and body hair and struggled with the cultural expectations of hairlessness and being bullied for having a mustache and unibrow as a kid (which caused me shame, pain and wasting money trying to remove it all). Several steps of evolution in my early 20s had me resisting these expectations and I’ve since grown to love my body hair. The last time I did any removal was about 7 years ago and I’m much happier and more accepting now. The journey that I currently face is my relationship with nutrition and finding a holistic diet of nourishing foods that can support my digestion and energy levels so I can feel lighter, brighter, more rested and energized.
It’s been so enlightening to read her journal entries, the challenges she faced, the uncertainty and navigating life solo (but not alone). I found so many commonalities and true soul similarities with her. I relate to the uncomfortable growth of going after a vision and being a staunch advocate for pleasure and women’s sexuality while jumping over the bureaucratic hoops of communities that were scared of this kind of no-bullshit evolution. It’s also empowering to know that she did it, she got the work out there and made a huge impact and ultimately lead a rich, hedonistic life. Power to you BAD 💜
